Hermione's All That

Harry stood shocked. Did she just say what I think she said? He knew he probably looked stupid right now because his mouth was opening and closing, as he had no idea what to say next. Just stay quiet and let her speak first.

Hermione turned her head and looked past Harry for a moment before she began walking over to the stands.

Harry watched her for a moment, then finally his brain comprehended the motion of moving and he followed her.

They climbed the steps and sat down on one of the benches.

Hermione was looking out over the Quidditch Pitch. Harry could see the moonlight reflecting off the paths of tears made on her cheeks.

"I was always really close to my parents," Hermione began, still unable to meet Harry's eyes.

Harry listened attentively as Hermione began to speak. She needed ears to listen to her, and he was in no way not going to oblige her.

"It was only me; I had no brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles, cousins, no one. Well except my grandmother, but she was just too old for me to really get to know her. And when I was young, I had no friends," Hermione said, and then she let out a slight chuckle that surprised Harry.

"It's ironic really, because in school, I had no friends, and I knew it was because I was different and I just wanted to go someplace where everyone else was like me. And then, I get my Hogwarts letter and I thought: this is it; this is my chance. I come here, and what happens, I am still too different for people to even care to be my friend. I didn't fit in the muggle world and I don't fit in here, I'm in just sort of a limbo state and I can't find a way to get out." Hermione stopped for a second and Harry was about to comment on that, saying that he was her friend now, but thought better of it. She knew that and he knew he had treated her terribly before he actually got to know her and he wasn't going to try and make excuses for it now.

Hermione folded her arms in her lap and stared up at the sky. Sighing a bit, she continued. "My parents were my way out. They were there for me and loved me with all their hearts. And I loved them with everything I had. They would have done anything for me, as I would have done anything for them."

Hermione smiled at bit and Harry had a feeling she was recalling a memory of her parents. His suspicions were confirmed when she began speaking again.

"I remember this one time. My mom, it was her thirty-fifth birthday, so me and dad planned this huge party for her. We were so excited. We invited everyone we knew. She had to go out and do errands that day, so while she was gone, we set everything up. We hid all the cars so that Mom wouldn't have any idea. Well it turns out, she had gone to get her hair done that day and the woman at the salon cut it something awful and dyed it, but the color didn't come out right. Mom was going to go and get it fixed the next day. Well she came home, not expecting all her close friends to be there, and was shocked when we all yelled surprise. She was embarrassed, I could see it on her face and I just knew she was going to get mad and cry or storm out of the room, but she didn't," Hermione said. She turned to look at Harry as if telling this story made her realize just how amazing the moment truly was.

Harry stared into Hermione's brown eyes as she finished the story. "You know what she did? She laughed. She just laughed till she was in tears. She said that she was embarrassed, but this was her birthday, and she was so happy that everyone had shown up for her that she didn't care. She also told me that her true friends wouldn't care what she looked like."

Harry smiled as Hermione's face lit up from the memory. "Your parents sound like wonderful people," Harry commented, thinking it was okay to now speak.

"Oh, they were. And they would have loved you. I know they would. My mom always told me I had a good sense of character, and if I like you, she would have," Hermione confided.

Harry blushed a bit at the comment. "Thanks, I'm sure I would have loved them too."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement.

"I wish they were still here," Hermione said, peering up to the stars once again.

"What," Harry started to say, not really sure if he should ask. "What happened to them?"

Hermione didn't look at him or tear her gaze away from the stars. "It was a wonderful day, so bright and sunny. I was starting my sixth year at Hogwarts, I was made prefect and my parents were so proud. Mom wanted to make sure that I had the best last day that I could. And I wanted french toast for breakfast," Hermione said. She closed her eyes a moment as new tears began to drip down her cheeks.

"We didn't have any eggs, so we all hopped into the car and headed down to the market. On our way out, that's when things turned bad," Hermione confided. She began to rub her hands together, as if to calm her shaking hands. Harry continued to listen.

"It just so happens that Bellatrix Lestrange and a few of Voldemort's other death eaters were out having a bit of fun, teasing, taunting, muggles. I saw them and I looked right into Lestrange's eyes. I will never forget how they looked, so dark and black. There was nothing there, no soul just evil. And that's when she killed my mom. It was like slow motion. I can still hear her scream as she fell to the ground, never to get up again." Hermione stopped, taking a deep breath, and Harry knew she was willing herself to get this all out. He felt terrible, her pain was so evident and all he wanted to do was wash it away.

Harry couldn't help but think of his own mother at that moment, how he was forced to relive her screams while the dementors were around. It hurt so much then and he hadn't even known his parents, he couldn't even imagine how Hermione was feeling.

He remembered the moment when he saw Cedric fall to his death in fourth year. It was the first time someone had actually been killed in front of him. He blamed himself for a while after that, but finally after some harsh talks with Sirius and Lupin, and a lot of internal battling, he was beginning to understand that it wasn't really his fault, but Voldemort's.

Hermione's voice snapped Harry from his thoughts. "I was in pure shock when she fell, I don't even think I really connected my mom falling to her actually being gone forever till awhile after. When my mom collapsed, my dad grabbed me and threw me to the ground and covered me like a shield. I just stared at the concrete hoping they would go by us, but when I felt my father's grip on me loosen; I knew I was now an orphan."

Harry sat shocked. She lost both of her parents just like him, by dark wizards, just like him, and she had bottled it all up, just like him. He almost felt like he was listening to the female counterpart of himself.

"That's when Professor Lupin came and helped me. He helped me a while after that, helping me get everything in order and my parent's affairs taken care of," Hermione told him.

So that's how they know each other. Professor Lupin helped Hermione when she was in need. Thank god for Lupin.

They sat in silence for a moment, both collecting their thoughts. Harry's were completely filled with concern for Hermione. She had been through so much and she had no one to talk to or confide in. He felt horrible, completely disgusted at himself for putting Hermione down all these years. He never even gave her a chance, and look at how much she affected him.

"Why did I have to have French toast?" Hermione asked, and the question stunned Harry. He knew though, it was not one to answer. He watched as she clenched her fists by her sides and looked up at the sky.

"Why did I have to make them go to the market? Why did I stand there and watch my mom die?" Hermione started to raise her voice. Harry felt that he should let Hermione vent her rage, as she deserved it and needed to do it.

Hermione stood up now, yelling to the heavens her frustrations. "Why did I not try and fight them?"

"WHY!?" Hermione screamed, as she fell to her knees onto the hard stands. Harry sat watching her. He couldn't bring words to describe what he was seeing, but he felt, or at least he was almost positive he heard the actual sound of Hermione's heart breaking, along with it, his own.

He realized that Hermione was blaming herself for what happened. He remembered those times, and he was going to help Hermione realize that it wasn't her fault, that there was nothing she could do about it.

Hermione's cries sliced through the still air like a knife. Harry could hear her torment and pain coming out after all this time and he didn't know what to say.

But he did know what to do.

Taking both sides of Hermione's face, he pulled them up, staring right into her open eyes. He was trying to communicate to her, sending messages through his eyes and hoping she could read them.

"Hermione, look at me and listen carefully. It was not your fault, nor was it ever your fault. You can't be expected to take on Death Eaters, especially when you have only been at Hogwarts for five years. And if you would have taken them on, I doubt you would be sitting here with me right now," Harry told her seriously.

Hermione continued to cry as Harry persisted to try and convince her. "I have been through the same things as you, Hermione. My parents died for me, Cedric died in front of my eyes. My friends were hurt left and right, and it was all because Voldemort wanted to get to me, and I thought it was my fault. The guilt consumed me. I was filled with so much hate and rage, no one even knew the real me anymore. And when I found out about the prophecy, I just went overboard. But I realized, with some help, that it wasn't my fault. It was Voldemort's as this wasn't your fault but the Death Eaters! Don't you see Hermione? You have to understand!" Harry told her, hoping she was getting the point. "It. Wasn't. Your. Fault!" Harry reiterated.

And without another second, Harry reached around and held Hermione in a tight embrace.

Hermione stiffened at the contact. It was sudden and she wasn't expecting it, especially since she had always been by herself when she was crying.

She was apprehensive to allow Harry to see her like this, so open, so vulnerable, but then again, she knew it was time to release herself and allow herself to properly grieve.

She then grabbed onto his arms as if he was her lifesaver, keeping her afloat so she wouldn't drown in her inner turmoil. Letting her head fall to her shoulder, she let the tears flow. There were no boundaries, no lines drawn; she was able to finally free herself from everything that happened to her. She would never forget it, or her parents, never, but she could try and get through it. She couldn't believe that she had finally expressed everything she was dealing with and that was because of...

Harry.

Harry pulled back, just enough to look into Hermione's face again. He could see the hurt and he hated that all this happened to her. He wanted to take it away, and he would have it he could have. Hermione was precious and a great person, she didn't deserve all that has happened to her.

He hadn't blinked since he had stared into her eyes, and he was oblivious to the fact that his head was moving lower. The next thing he knew, he was kissing Hermione, but this time, it wasn't the simple, chaste kiss on the lips. He had invaded her mouth with his tongue and he could feel the passion between them. So immense and heavy, it was almost weighing them down.

Hermione was in heaven. She was taken by surprise by Harry's motions, but she wasn't going to contradict him. She had been waiting for this ever since the first small kiss. She was amazed by the way Harry was making her feel. She was a bit timid when she felt his tongue ask for entrance, but she gave in. This was Harry, after all.

Harry continued to invade Hermione's mouth, and his hands came up to interweave themselves into her long, flowing hair. He couldn't believe how great this felt. If you would have told him six months ago that he would be sitting outside, making out with Hermione Granger, he would have told you to go to hell, but look, here he was and he was enjoying it immensely. Harry never felt like this with anyone else, Hermione was the only one to make his heart beat so fast, his hands sweat, and send chills all over his body just from her mere touch.

But wait, how can I be like this with a girl? With her? I can't open up like this, more people will just be hurt. I can't do it, especially to her.

Harry pulled back suddenly, and watched as Hermione's eyes fluttered open. She had a dazed look on her face, which quickly switched to confused.

"Well, I think we better head back now," Harry said, not really sure of what to say at the moment. Avoiding it is the best route.

Hermione nodded her head, unable to speak after what just happened. Why had he pulled back? I thought he was enjoying it, I certainly was enjoying it.

They got up off the stands, and made their way across the Hogwarts grounds. They walked the rest of the way to their rooms in silence, both lost in their thoughts to talk.

As they got to the door, they stopped. "So feeling better?" Harry asked, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer.

"Yes, thank you for listening to me," Hermione said, looking up into Harry's eyes.

"Thank you for telling me and for what it's worth, I'm sorry about your parents," Harry said sincerely.

Hermione looked to the ground, nodding her head. Looking back up, she said, "Thank you."

Hermione pulled out the necklace and held it out in front of her. She opened the clasp and looked at the picture adorned inside. "Will you put it on me?" she asked tentatively.

Harry stared at her for a moment. He almost wanted to say no, fearing that if he touched her skin he wouldn't be able to stop.

He nodded and she handed him the locket. She turned around; raising her hair away from her neck and Harry pulled the necklace around. He clasped it together, brushing his fingers softly over her skin.

Hermione felt goosebumps flood over her skin from the touch. She didn't know how Harry did that, but she wasn't complaining.

Harry leaned down, almost wanting to kiss the flesh, but resisted. He just couldn't do that, he had to stop this and stop it now before he dug himself in deep and could never get out.

She was about to go in when she stopped herself. She never really properly thanked Harry for the great day. Turning around, she wrapped him up in a hug.

"Thank you Harry for the best birthday I could ever imagine. I love the locket and I'll treasure it forever," Hermione whispered into his ear. Pulling away, she kissed him on the cheek, and then made for the door. Opening it, she turned back one last time. "Goodnight Harry," she whispered.

"Goodnight Hermione," Harry answered, as she shut the door.

Harry stared at the door, picturing Hermione throughout the night. All the events of the day ran through his mind. He pictured her in Hogsmeade, in the Shrieking Shak, at the picnic with Lavender and Ron. He pictured the look on her face when he gave her the locket, but what stuck with him the most was the terrible sound of her crying.

He was sure that that sound was the worst thing he had heard in his life. He just couldn't imagine how life could be so cruel to such a wonderful girl. Even though she had faced such heartache and had been through so much, all alone, she still turned out to be wonderful. How? he didn't know, but at that moment he made a promise. He was going to protect Hermione and keep her from getting hurt again.

It was his promise, and he intended to keep it.