Fairytale Green

Pathetic fallacy is the technique used in literature where the writer purposely makes the weather a certain way to reflects the character’s mood. It hardly rained in California but when it did, I sometimes liked to believe that someone out there cared. That it was not just me on my own.

The rain was batting on the window. It had been since Stone left. I watched the raindrops fall for a while until I ended up fishing out an old photo album from my father’s bedroom. 

I sat on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate while taking a painful trip down memory lane. All while restraining the urge to break down once again.

Just when I started to feel my chest become heavy, a single loud knock came from the door. Loud enough that I almost mistook it for thunder.

I shut the book of photographs and stood up to walk over to the door.

I suspected that it was Lana as I made my way across the living room. She had been probably worried about me being by myself even if I insisted I was fine. I told her that I needed to face the apartment and the memory of him eventually.

Opening the door, I held onto the handle tightly as I took in the sight of him. Of the person I wanted it to be.

‘You came back.’ I uttered in shock.

‘I never left.’  He replied as his eyes trailed from my head to toe and then back.

Stone looked devastating. His veins bulged from the muscles in his arm as he ran a hand through his wet hair. His shirt was soaked. So wet that I could see the outline of his abs.

I did not waste any time.

I took a step closer to him and put my weight on my toes as I reached up and pulled at his damp leather jacket so he would move down closer to me.

He did not need the pull because he was already moving closer. I reached up and let my fingers roam through his hair as I smashed my lips onto his.

A moan escaped me as his tongue flicked over my lip and caressed my senses. He took over and dominated instantly. His mouth rediscovered mine as his hands stroked down my body until they gripped themselves onto my hips, lifting me up.

The noise of his deep grumbles in his chest showed how much he needed me. He pulled me closer than close as we continued to show each other how much we had missed this. Missed us.

We ended up on the sofa without parting ways. We could not let go of each other. I clutched at him desperately and he did the same.

I was straddling him as he bit my lip and roamed his fingers through my hair. My hands went to grip his shirt as I fisted the wet material so I could push myself up because I wanted to taste all of him. We both were imprisoned by each other and there was no need for anything else. Just each other.

He then gently pulled back from me as he rasped out ‘Ella. Stop’

I did pull back but I did not let go of my grip on his shirt.

‘Fuck. I should not have done that.’ He cursed while running a hand through his hair again.

‘I am sorry.’ I said while both my hands laid flat on his chest as I pushed myself back ‘I get it. You do not want me anymore.’

One of his arms wrapped around my waist tightly so he could keep me on his lap. The other he used to hold my chin with his hand so that I would look at him.

‘What,’ He let out deeply and lowly ‘did you just say.’

‘You…You do not want me anymore.’ I breathed through the pain ‘It is okay.’

‘Now wanting you is like not fucking breathing.’ He gnarled ‘It is impossible.’

I did not meet his eye so he cupped my face and gently forced me to look at him.

‘I always want you. I never stop wanting you’ He quietly growled before softening his voice until it was hoarse ‘You are grieving. I am not taking advantage of that.’

That is when it hit. There was no rhyme or reason to it. All of the pain escaped from me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Large sobs made their way out from me and I could feel the tears running down my face.

Stone pulled me closer and put his large arms around me so that my face was buried in his chest. He let me cry into his shirt until it was soaked even more than it already was. He ran his hand through my hair comfortingly and continued to whisper sweet nothings to me as he kissed my head.

When I eventually felt like there were no more tears left in me, I peered up at him so my forehead rested against his.

‘Medusa, baby.’ He whispered, ‘Talk to me.’

My bottom lip trembled as I explained ‘I spent the last month or so of his life hating him. We never once had a nice conversation. It was arguing or if it was not that then it was just us ignoring each other.’

He wiped my tears away with his two thumbs ‘He knew that you loved him.’

‘How do you know that?’ I asked while doubting that he had as my vision became unclear ‘A naive hopeful part of me thought that he would come back. That he would get over it and get better. That we would make amends. I will never get that time with him.’

Stone just kissed my head as I continued letting everything out.

‘I will never get that time back.’ I repeated before hurrying over my words ‘I will not have him over for Thanksgivings or Christmases. I will not have him walking me down the aisle if I get married. If I have kids then they will never have a grandfather. I will never be able to rebuild my relationship with him.’

I continued to cry into him and he let me. I did so until my throat started to hurt and until my neck was soaked with tears.

I stood up quickly from his lap and wiped my eyes for the final time.

‘I am going to go and have a shower.’ I announced before hurrying away from him before he could argue.

Locking the bathroom door behind me, I leaned against the wood and let out a pained sigh. The reflection on the mirror above the sink showed that I looked just as bad as I felt.

My eyes and nose were red. My already long enough hair reached my elbows and was long overdue a cut.

The dress that Lana let me borrow hit the floor as I rushed to get out of my clothes and into the shower. I washed my body and paid closer attention to scrub gentler the marks that were still visible from the crash.

After I felt kind of fresh again then I wrapped a towel around my chest and walked over to the cabinet under the sink.

The pills that Mrs Lewis gave me at the hospital were there with some other medication. I took two of mine and ignored the advice of taking one because everything hurt.

Then I noticed in the first aid box that there was some cream that we had for cuts.

Once I had finished up in the bathroom, I took myself and the cream through to the bedroom. I sat down on the edge of the bed before I hoisted one of my legs on the mattress to apply the cream.

I only got a couple of cuts covered before Stone walked in and seen what I was doing.

He quickly made his over to the edge of the bed before kneeling down and taking over my cream applying. He put some on two fingers before gently rubbing it on my legs. While he did so, I tried adjusting my towel so he did not get an eyeful down there. It was not like he had not seen it before but it was not exactly the sexiest scene at that moment.

However, he did not pay any attention to my exposed thigh and only concentrated on his job at hand.

‘Do they hurt?’ He questioned, sounding wounded himself.

There was no point in lying to him because he could see that I was wincing so I nodded.

After my answer, his head never looked up as he kept on covering my legs with the cream.

After a minute, I quietly voiced ‘Lurch, I am so sorry.’

‘I need to know why you are doing this.’ He told me as he met my eye with desperation in his own.

As well as deflecting the conversation, I wanted to cheer him up so I decided to list more humorous reasons rather than the truth.

‘My reason is that your car and motorbike take up two spaces outside of my apartment.’ I voiced as I managed to smile at him

Stone looked up and watchesd me with a softness in his gaze ‘You love that motorbike more than I do.’

My lip twitched and I tried again ‘You take up all the space on the bed with your wide shoulders.’

‘You sleep on me.’ He rebutted with a hint of a small smirk on his face.

As I rolled my eyes I then thought of another thing ‘You always need fed. You eat everything in the fridge.’

‘You always steal from my plate.’

‘Another reason is you annoy like me nobody else. Only you can get so far deep into my skin.’ I laughed as I spoke.

He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear with his hand that had not got cream on it as he retaliated with ‘I have always annoyed you. Just like you have always got under my skin, Drizella.’

‘My name.’ I gave him another stupid reason ‘You always say my name to get a rise out of me and wind me up.’

The giant had a full smirk on his face as he replied ‘I like your name.’

‘Well I do not like yours.’ I lied ‘Stone is a stupid name.’

He ceased applying the cream on my legs and he tilted his head with a look of adoration on his face.

‘You better get used to it.’ His rough voice deepened as he informed me ‘You will be taking it.’

I choked on the air.

‘Just tell me the truth.’ He begged, ‘I cannot fight for you if you do not tell me what I am fighting.’

Taking a deep breath, I revealed ‘The truth is that I love you too much. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.’

He rose on his knees so that he was towering over me as he asked ‘Then why are you doing this?’

‘It is scary to have someone have your heart in their hands and trust them not to crush it.’ I whispered ‘It is scary to need someone. To love them. To rely on them not leave you.’

‘I will never leave.’ He gritted out while sounding offended that I would say such a thing.

‘But—’

‘I am not going anywhere, baby.’ He stated while cupping my face once again ‘You will never lose me.’

I closed my eyes so I did not have to look at him as I spoke ‘I do not know exactly why my mother chose to end her life but I know that she felt trapped. She sometimes looked at me with resentment. My dad too looked at me that way after she died. I never want you to wake up and feel that towards me too. I never want you to feel stuck with me.’

‘How could you think that. I—’ He began to raise his voice.

I cut him off by shouting ‘You are going somewhere. You are going to make it big with your fight club.’

‘Ella. Look at me.’ He demanded in his dominant tone ‘It is nothing. Not compared to you. I would choose you over anything. No matter what the other option was.’

‘You should not have to make a choice.’ I said before explaining ‘You have a destination. The same cannot be said about me. I have no place to go and I feel so lost.’

His hands fell from my face and gripped the bedsheets on either side of me so that I was surrounded by him. 

‘You have just lost your dad.’ He said, ‘You need time.’

‘I have lost everybody.’ I sighed, my breath shaking ‘I can not go through that again. Especially not with you. I will not survive it. I need to let go while everything is still raw so I do not have to face someone leaving me again.’

‘You are trying to leave me.’ Stone growled before sending me a look of dark promise my way ‘Trying being the key word of that sentence. Your reason is not good enough. I am not leaving. I will never leave you. I do not care how many times I have to say it until you get it into that beautiful head of yours. I am not going anywhere.’

‘It does not matter.’ I mentioned, ‘After tomorrow at midnight, it will not matter.’

He moved back and shock clouded his defined features as he asked ‘You really thought that I was just going to give up after that? And what? Walk away?’

My eyes widened as I argued ‘You said it yourself. A bet is a bet.’

‘You still have not gave me a good enough reason!’

‘I just did!’ I rebutted but my voice was weak.

‘No. You did not.’ He grumbled before his voice grew deeper and his expression contorted to hurt ‘Did you really think that I was just going to give up after tomorrow?’

I could feel my eyes start to water again so I tried to focus on something else. Nothing worked. Every corner of my room was filled with him. All walls were coloured in that certain shade of green.

‘I am really tired.’ I said as I stood up and left him kneeling on the floor.

He stood up too and his arms went out like he wanted to reach for me. He restrained himself and made tight fists at his side.

‘I will take the sofa.’ He told me before taking a last long look my way and then leaving the room ‘If you need anything at all then just tell me.’

Changing into my pyjama shorts and tank top, I started to feel a little off-balance and suspected that taking two of the pills Mrs Lewis warned me not to was not such a good idea.

I pulled back the sheets and got inside the bed. I pushed down the feeling of emptiness.

I did not lie to Stone. I was tired. Yet as I laid on my bed, I was wide awake. I tried switching position on the mattress but nothing worked. I let my arm stretch out as I reached for something that was not there.

Huffing, I jumped up from the bed and sauntered through to the kitchen in a desperate exigency to be in his arms.

Stone was leaning haunched over on the kitchen counter, gripping the edge of the marble countertop with his veiny hands. He had taken off his wet shirt because he only stood in his jeans.

He only noticed that I was in the room when I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his middle. I rested my cheek on his bare back.

‘Come to bed.’ I pleaded.

Carefully he turned around so my arms still remained around him. He stared down at me before lifting me up so we could be face to face.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and then I let my arms cross behind his neck so that I could rest my head on his shoulder.

‘I do not want this. I do not want to win this wager.’ I admitted while holding on to him with all the strength that I had left in me ‘I do not want to lose you.’

‘You won’t.’ He reassured me before leaving a soft kiss to my ear ‘I love you, Medusa.’

‘I love you too, Lurch.’ I spoke before yawning. 

He gave my exposed neck soft gentle kisses which left goosebumps on the skin while he carried me back to the room.

Before he could say anything more, I closed my eyes and relaxed into him with a content sigh.