Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

*Four months later*

We’ve hit some snags.

Our human rescue operation is not going well. Or, I guess I would say that it is not going as expected. Every single human we have tried to rescue didn’t need or want help.

It started with Shawn who up and went back to Sal after just four days. Then, by the time we checked on the women being detained on Earth they had all been let free. I think Oh’Teck had something to do with it, but he’s being tight lipped about it. Speaking of Oh’Teck, apparently he discovered Only Fans and ended up abducting the couple he subscribed to. And their cats. I’m really confused about how all that unfolded logistically, but from what I understand they are a thruple. I think. I’m not going to be nosy about it as long as they’re all happy, and they all seem to be.

The mysterious distress signal didn’t come to anything.

The human that had crashed on the inhospitable planet was alive and well with a whole pack of alien boyfriends she had acquired by accident but decided to keep. She didn’t need rescuing either.

The pregnant one is involved in a custody battle for the baby she’s pregnant with. She can’t leave while all that is being decided. She asked us to check on her again closer to her due date.

When we checked on the refugee space station it had been through a bloodless coup. Humans and their allies had taken over the whole station. The previous director has disappeared. It is being investigated by the Governing Body. After hearing from those humans that none of them wanted to leave, we got out of there with quickness. We don’t want to be sucked into that sort of drama.

Mandy has put a pause on the human sanctuary. It’s pretty obvious now that nobody likes the idea of living in a sanctuary. Maybe they would if they were actually in terribly dire states, but so far all the humans we’ve tracked down are doing okay and pretty much living life on their own terms out here in space.

So that leaves us with the Arana-Vora planet and the human we keep hearing is still alive and trapped on there.

We can’t just ignore this situation, but we also can’t blunder about on a planet of vicious, bloodthirst spider people. Mandy and I keep going back and forth about it. We still don’t know how reliable these anonymous reports are. If there really is a human on that planet how has she stayed alive this long? If she’s still alive, maybe it’s not dangerous for us to visit and check on her.

But we can’t know anything for sure. That planet is closed off from the rest of the universe. No calls, surveillance, or any kind of communication at all. We’ve tried getting messages through, tried hiring bounty hunters, all with no results.

Mandy, Lu, Seven, Ken, and I are all in the cafeteria heatedly debating our options when our ship’s communication system is pinged with a request. An unknown person who won’t identify themselves is trying to chat with us.

It could be anybody, any of these humans we have been in contact with lately. I cross my fingers as we hurry to the security alcove to establish a video feed. I hope it is from the Arana-Vora planet. Please let us finally have a definitive answer about this woman’s situation.

My prayers are answered when a spider guy appears on the display. I recognize what he is even though he is hunched into a ridiculous cloak. His glowing red eyes give him away.

“Greetings, Baht,” Lu says breaking the ice.

We all take turns saying different versions of “greetings” to each other.

Then I get right to it. “Do you still have that woman from the Seereechee ship with you Baht? Is she alive?”

“She is,” he answers, “but that is not your concern.”

“It kind of is,” Mandy argues.

“I have contacted you about a matter of great urgency. Much more important than human gossip.”

I don’t like his dismissive tone. Mandy has more patience than me because she asks, “What is the matter you’re calling about?”

“There has been an unforeseen astral event.”

What does that even mean?

“Speak plainly Baht,” Mandy demands.

“A previously undetected rogue black hole shot through an outer arm of your galaxy two years ago,” he explains slowly looking at us humans, “it has interfered with local orbits.”

We all look at him dumbly. It’s clear that he expected a reaction, but I am still not sure what he’s saying.

“Is Earth’s sun affected by this?” Ken asks.

“Not directly. Two nearby stars will collide in less than ten days though. Two days after that Earth will experience catastrophic effects.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Mandy argues, “The nearest star to our system is more than four light years away. How would these effects reach Earth so soon?”

Baht looks at Mandy for a moment. At length he says, “You would like a lesson in interstellar physics?”

“Yes.”

Baht stands a little taller and shrugs his shoulders, then begins, “When massive bodies collide in space, this causes a concussive fold effect.”

“And what is a concussive fold?”

“It is similar to how your ship folds space to travel great distances, but on a much larger scale. Instead of a single fold, the fabric of space-time is folded violently, multiple times. Space-time itself is folded up, scrunched into a ball around this collision.”

Baht looks at Mandy and she nods for him to continue.

“As quickly as this large, multilayer fold happens, it unfolds. It explodes out. Pushing time-line events that have gotten passed from one folded crest to another outward with jarring immediacy. Something you otherwise would not even glimpse for ten years is at your door in seconds. Effects that should be dampened and spaced out over time, happen in rapid succession.”

“So what is going to happen to Earth?” I demand.

“It will be scorched by four different kinds of radiation. It will be immediately uninhabitable.”

“Un—” Mandy audibly gulps then tries again, “uninhabitable?”

“Yes,” Baht nods, his glowing eyes the only movement inside that hood, “Radiation will immediately burn off half of Earth’s ozone layer and ionize what is left of the atmosphere. Those that survive the initial catastrophe will no doubt die soon after from continuous nitrous-oxide inhalation coupled with lethel radiation—”

“Oh god! Wha—” She looks around wildly, “We need to fold immediately! Oh’Teck! Crystal and Brad! We need to get them!” She turns to me, “Your parents!”

I nod dumbly. Of course. We should get my parents.

A tentacle slides around my waist and I pat it absently.

“And—and others!” She wildly turns and grabs Seven’s arms, “How many humans can we fit on this ship?”

“One Hundred and seventy two,” Ken answers.

“I—” I clear my throat, “I’ll start a list of –”

I can’t finish.

How do we decide who to rescue? A hundred and seventy two out of billions? Should we just get kids? That would be the right thing wouldn’t it?

“Oh’Teck can fold from his observatory.” Ken reminds us.

“Okay, so let’s message him to abduct as many humans as possible and get out of there,” Mandy instructs. Ken moves to quickly do her bidding.

Mandy turns back to the com display, “You said ten days?”

“Yes.”

“And then two more until it reaches Earth.” She shakes Seven’s arm, “How many times can we fold to Earth and back in twelve days?”

“Near a thousand times, but it will take longer to load and unload all the humans so—” he takes a breath then says with finality, “Twice a day.”

“So twenty-four times a hundred and seventy—”

She whips around to look at the screen, “Baht—”

“I cannot help you.”

“But—”

“I cannot.”

And then he disconnects the com link from his end.

Well shit.