Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

The problem with Shawn took care of itself very quickly. I need not have worried.

He was on our ship for four nights. Then he woke up one morning, came to the cafeteria, and informed everyone that he had commed Salhuteck, shared our location, and he would be leaving us shortly.

“Are you guys going to try and kidnap anybody on your way out?” Gloria asked him.

He stared at the floor with his face set in a frown.

Tiny was more solicitous. “Would you like to take any clothes or—”

“He can’t wear clothes at Sal’s place,” Gloria snickers.

“Thanks, Mandy, but I can have whatever I need made at home.” Shawn answers with a stoic air.

“Home is it?” Gloria asks.

Shawn nods.

“So, are you and Sal, like, a couple?”

“No.”

“C’mon,” Gloria argues, “If you’re not together then why are you going back to him?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Shawn explains looking from Gloria to Tiny and back, “but I’ve considered my options. I can be detained indefinitely on Earth. I can live here with you all.” He waves a hand around to encompass Ken, Seven, and I. “Or I can be part of some primitive refugee situation on Mars or wherever. I think Sal is my best option.”

Gloria smirks, “And you miss him. Admit it.”

Shawn shakes his head and huffs, not looking anybody in the eye.

“It’s not like that.”

Gloria laughs again.

“Oh really? So all the petting and compliments aren’t you’re cup of tea? All of the collars and leashes and—” She wiggles two fingers on each hand at him. “Punishments? You’re not into any of that? And you’re going back to him for more of that treatment anyway.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“Gloria,” Tiny interjects, “You’re being a jerk. He doesn’t have to explain.”

“Not everyone is an alien-fucker,” Shawn says heatedly.

Gloria laughs some more.

“Who said anything about fucking aliens Shawn? I certainly didn’t. Obviously it’s on your mind though—”

There is a notification in our implants and tablets that a shuttle has docked. Shawn turns on his heel and stomps toward the corridor.

“Bye Shawn!” Gloria yells, “Have fun!”

He waves a hand over his head but does not respond or turn around.

“Well,” Tiny says at length, “as long as he’s happy.”

Gloria nods.

“Okay, well, what were we talking about? Rescuing people?” Tiny asks.

Tiny and Gloria want to rescue a Human from the Arana-Vora Homeworld.

Tiny seems to believe that we can just ask Baht politely to please give his human over to us. She has faith that Baht will immediately acquiesce.

This is folly.

For one thing, Arana-Vora are ruled by their females. The females never leave their home planet. If that is where this human is, then Baht will have little say in the matter.

It is said that female Arana-Vora are vicious, bloodthirsty, and incapable of rational negotiation. In the same way as the males, but worse.

This is a doomed proposition from the start. I wish we had never been alerted to this situation.

Though Tiny has divided ownership of our homeship between the five of us, control has not derived from ownership. When Tiny and Gloria decide on a course of action, that is it. It is set. It is curious to me that these weak, delicate little humans have maneuvered themselves into positions of authority.

This proposition of contacting the Arana-Vora Homeworld, possibly going there? I cannot agree with it. I will put a stop to it if it comes to that. I just need to make sure that Ken and Seven are on my side in this. Tiny and Gloria do not have implants to pilot the ship. If those of us that can pilot will not go, then that is that. I hope. Unless they think to have one of the bodyguards pilot.

“We will not survive this encounter,” Ken laments, voicing my thoughts for me.

“Don’t be so negative.” Tiny says.

“If it’s as dangerous as all that, more reason to get her out of there as soon as possible,” Gloria argues, “None of these other humans are in such dire need of rescue as this one.”

“We will not be able to rescue any of them if we die on that planet. You are bringing us right to them and they will devour us,” Ken argues.

I watch Gloria think about that for a moment. I can almost read her thoughts, listing everything at risk. Tiny and Seven’s spawn, Princess Peach, any Humans we may help in the future, and on and on.

“Maybe let’s put this one to the back of the list,” she says.

“What? Why?” Tiny asks.

“Well, look, who sent us this notice. It’s an anonymous tip. That’s suspicious. It could very well be a trap.”

“Huh,” Tiny is rethinking, thank the void, “Yeah, those spider aliens are trying to get free food delivered right to their door.”

They have both given in. This is a relief.

“Okay, so we’ll back-burner that one pending more evidence. Which human are we going to rescue then?” Tiny asks.

Ken starts listing, “There is a group of ten humans on Risant Eight Space Station now. They are living as refugees.”

“Are they safe there?” Tiny asks.

“Yes. It is a very clean space station. Well within patrolled space. It is run by a responsible and law-abiding Crimbulonian. Darfeech, I think their name is. When the situation with Humans being mistaken for pets came to light, they declared their station a safe haven for humans where owners can drop them off without any questions,” Ken explains, “Next is a human that was adopted as a pet, but the ship they were on has crashed on a very inhospitable planet.”

“Do we know if they survived?”

Ken shakes his head.

“Okay, we’ll swing by and check on them first.”

Ken nods and continues, “A human was bought as breeding stock and impregnated with crown prince’s heir in Herf-Trtut, a planetary system in the far reaches of a neighboring galaxy.”

“Oh my god!” Gloria says.

“She has been emancipated and granted citizenship on that planet, but perhaps we should check on her.”

“We certainly will,” Tiny says.

“And Oh’Teck has informed me that two humans and three cats are now living on the security station with him. He has also told me that he has reason to believe that everyone who was returned to Earth with Gloria is still being detained.”

“Oh, no,” Gloria says, “Those poor women! We should rescue them too!”

“How did humans and cats get on the security station though?” Tiny asks.

Ken shrugs, “Oh’Teck must have brought them there.”

“Okay, if that’s all—” Tiny starts to say.

“It is not,” Ken interrupts, “There is a distress signal coming from Earth. From a crashed ship.”

“But how could anybody crash on Earth? They can’t get past our security field?” Tiny looks around at all of us. “Right? That’s the whole point of it.”

“Yes. A ship must have crashed before we got the security system up and they just now were able to get a signal out.” Ken posits.

“Okay, alright. First, let’s go check that ship that crashed on the inhospitable planet. Then we’ll check on the pregnant woman. Then we’ll check on Oh’Teck, the detained women and this distress signal back on Earth. Then we’ll check on the refugee space station.” Everybody is nodding along as Tiny lists these points of action and writes them down with flourish on the table. “Then we’ll revisit this Arana-Vora situation.”

I do not know what Tiny is going to make lists on now that she is covering the last clear table with her markings. Maybe she will start using a tablet as one is meant to.

Using the tentacle I have loosely wrapped around Gloria’s waist I pull her close so I can nuzzle her face and breathe in her scent.

I crave Gloria’s attention because she has been distracted lately. Not just with human rescue plans. She is always talking with Tiny about the human sanctuary they have under construction on a planet neighboring Earth. And the traders’ guild they are planning to found. Founding a trader’s guild is a project so large in scope that I do not see how it can possibly be accomplished. That is their plan though. I am going to be supportive even though I do not think it is feasible.

As she caresses the tentacle that is holding her and nuzzles me back I cannot help but bask in her attention.

She is mine, my mate. And we are together as we are meant to be. It is all that matters.