Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

These Lizard fuck-faces are officially my least favorite species in the whole universe.

I know it’s not right to make sweeping generalizations about a whole species of people after interacting with only a few of them, but it’s obvious to me that this whole planet must condone slavery. Not just enslaving humans, other species are living in bondage here. The worst example I’ve seen is tiny little fairy people that are kept in an over large birdcage. I’ve tried to talk with them. I can understand them with the translator, but they are listless, barely ever speaking, and when they do it’s a single word at a time that doesn’t seem to apply to anything. Like, ‘Drinks.’ Another will say, ‘Dew.’ And another will say, ‘Evenings.’ Then they’re quiet for the rest of the day.

Poor things.

And the lizards act like I’m a rude guest. Like I chose to come here and should appreciate their hospitality. Ugh. I hate them.

Shawn, the human guy, is almost as bad. Just like he’d predicted, my clothes had been taken away. When I asked for them back, everybody acted like I was being unbearably rude. I was always the rude one, the bad one, making situations awkward, making lizards uncomfortable. Shawn is the good, well-behaved human.

I’m so frickin tired of it.

Shawn goes on and on about wanting to go back to Earth. When I told him that if he’d just help me, Mandy will take him right back to Earth whenever he wanted, it was a no-go. He doesn’t trust Homeworlders, and he thinks Mandy and I have been brainwashed or have Stockholm syndrome or something.

How he trusts these kidnapping, enslaving, lizard fucks, but not me or Mandy or the people we vouch for, I just don’t know.

I think he likes it here. He likes the boss lizard guy who is always petting his hair and talking sweetly to him with endearments and cute nicknames.

Sal, the fancy lizard boss, says that he’s working on getting Shawn back to Earth, but Mandy won’t allow Sal to take him. I have a few guesses as to why that is. If she is trying to protect Earth from slavers, these lizards are the last sort who should be granted any kind of access.

Finally, I just had to ask over breakfast one morning, ‘Shawn, you seem to like your life here with Sal. Why do you even want to get back to Earth?’

‘What do you mean? I’m a human. I belong with other humans. You don’t want to go back?’

‘Nope. Never.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’ve already been back once, and I was detained in some sort of secret government facility. I wasn’t treated well.’

‘For real? I hadn’t considered that. You don’t think there’s a way around it?’

‘Nope. If you go back, they’ll track you down before you even land, point a gun at you then escort you to a facility. They said that I wasn’t under arrest, that it was quarantine. Same difference here, though, I’m being detained indefinitely without any way to communicate with the outside world.’

He sips his drink thoughtfully, but he doesn’t seem too upset by the prospect.

One thing I can’t fault Sal for is his food. All of the meals are delicious. Well-seasoned meat dishes, fruits, veggies, all good stuff.

I was surprised to learn that Shawn and Mandy have a history. They were abducted at the same time. But there’s some kind of beef between them. Shawn won’t explain any of it.

Anyway, this whole situation is fucked up. Every lizard in this house keeps telling Shawn that I need discipline and correction, but Shawn keeps copping an attitude and bragging that I’m his human, gifted to him by Salhuteck and nobody gets to touch me or correct me without his say so. One time, I insulted one of Sal’s guests, just in my usual way of calling all of these lizards names and cussing them out. But I guess this guest was more important than anybody else I had insulted. They demanded that there should be some kind of consequence for the insult, and Shawn ended up being punished for it.

He won’t talk about what sort of punishment it was. With their medical technology, he could have been very badly hurt and I wouldn’t know because they’d just heal him up before I saw him again.

It’s a really awkward situation. Like, I instinctively feel grateful to Shawn for protecting me and sticking up for me. And even though his ‘I’m going to be so nice to you’ declaration sounded like a sexual come-on, it wasn’t. He is legit trying to be nice to me. But how grateful can I be to someone who owns me? Who won’t let me get free and get back to my home and my friends? Back to Lu?

That’s something I can’t talk to Shawn about. He has a real prejudice against Homeworlders. When I talk about wanting to go home, I’ll say I miss wearing clothes, I miss my dog, I miss Mandy. I can’t say I miss Lu because that will just piss Shawn off.

I do miss Lu, though. That’s the real reason why staying here isn’t even an option. Ever since I first ‘discovered’ him in that cove, I’ve felt like Lu belongs to me. And even though I didn’t take the time to talk with him about it after we had sex, I felt like that intimacy cemented things between us. Like, we understood each other and knew that we both wanted to be together.

Anyway, all that’s out the frickin window if I can’t figure out how to escape this lizard planet.

‘It doesn’t sound like they really hurt you,’ Shawn says, bringing my attention back to our conversation about my detention on Earth. ‘And when more humans come back, well they wouldn’t bother detaining us all, would they?’

‘Yes, they would,’ I argue, ‘And if it’s too much hassle, they would just kill us. They aren’t going to let people loose after being abducted by aliens.’

‘Hmm.’

‘It might not have physically hurt, but that was the worst time of my life. I’ve not had an easy life, but feeling so isolated, not having any options or distractions. It was hell. Psychological torture. I never want to go back. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.’

He nods. I can tell that I’ve given him something to think about.