Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

So, this whole time I was expecting Lu to be the alien who was meeting us. Who else would contact the Department? What other alien even knows I exist? But it’s not Lu who steps out of the shuttle to greet us.

The shuttle is very much like the one that brought me and all the other abducted women back to Earth. A big rectangular box with rounded corners and a doorway that just appears on the side. This one isn’t disintegrating like ours did though and it’s made out of a lighter, shiny material. And it’s floating. Just floating about six feet off the ground. The ground is another freshly turned field. The car ride was around an hour and a half. I know because there’s a clock on the dash of the car. I’m never going to take clocks for granted again.

This was a boring-ass car ride with the bald guy shuffling papers and going over information on the aliens as we rode.

‘They call themselves Homeworlders. They are aligned with an Intergalactic Order of Federated Planets.’

He’s not talking to me, but Howard and the driver. I try to tune out and watch the scenery.

‘The one we’re meeting is a dedicated liaison. We couldn’t get a name.’

There’s something soothing about all of these fields. It’s lulling and hypnotic to drive past them.

‘They are not aligned with the Grays. And the Grays are not aligned with the Intergalactic Order of Federated Planets. These ones are new and obviously more communicative.’

The driver, a dark-haired guy in a suit jacket and button-down shirt does this single grunt/laugh. I can’t tell what the joke is.

Howard is scrolling through her phone.

That’s something I really miss, my phone. I could know the date, where I’m at, any news. I’m adrift right now.

The exit we take says, New Appling. Never heard of it.

‘We are facilitating a reunion between Navarro here and her alien friend,’ Baldy is explaining, ‘Try to engage in conversation. Keep them talking. Keep it light and friendly. Leave the car running, dashcam on.’

We made our way to a farm. Barn, silos, fields, and a cute little white farmhouse.

Behind the barn is where we found the shuttlecraft.

My body is tense with excitement. I really can’t wait to see Lu. It’s weird because he’s a terrifying, monstrous, murderous alien. But this whole time I’ve been detained, I’ve felt so alone like it’s me against these agents. Even before that, dealing with all of the harassment and stalking, my friends all distanced themselves from me and my drama. My family hasn’t really been supportive of me or really even close with me since I dropped out of college. In contrast, Lu was one hundred percent on my side. He murdered those two guys to defend me. He kept me safely away from all of the violence that went down on that ship. Maybe it’s crazy. I know it’s crazy. The thing is that I’ve been on guard and on my own for years now. It’s so draining. But looking back at how protectively Lu treated me, it’s like a fleece blanket, warm and comforting when the rest of the time I’m bare and chilled.

So, anyway, I’m pumped about seeing him again.

As the door appears on the side of the shuttle, Baldie hands me my translation device and I hook it onto my ear. It does this squeezing pulse thing, the same thing it did the first time.

And now there’s a ramp leading down from the shuttle and a person is on the ramp and—

It’s not Lu.

It’s not even an alien at all. It’s a human woman. Just a regular woman. I mean she’s cute, with long curly dark hair and a curvy hour-glass figure. She is wearing what looks like a long, bright red scarf wrapped all around her body.

‘Ohmygawd!’ She squeals and runs down the ramp, past Baldie, Howard, and the other agent, right toward me.

‘I knew I recognized you!’ She grabs my hand that’s not holding Peach in hers and kind of jumps up and down.

I’m startled and confused, but I can’t help but laugh at this strange lady’s exuberance.

‘Glory!’

Ah, that’s what she’s yelling about.

‘GloryinGaming!’

That’s my handle. I know. Cringe.

‘I follow you on YouTube and TikTok and the interviews—’

She stops and visibly struggles to calm herself.

‘Okay, okay. I’m done fan-girling. I promise. It’s just—’ She smooths out the skirt on her scarf/dress and takes a deep breath. ‘Anyway, Lu told me all about you and I saw the footage, but I didn’t realize you were—” She gestures up and down my whole body. ‘You!’

I laugh at her because she’s just too much.

‘Anyway, I wanted to come get you because I saw those guys who tried to kidnap you. In Lu’s neural implant footage. And then, I thought that the government,’ she waves a hand toward the agents who are all just silently observing, ‘might be treating you some kind of way. And Lu was…’

She pauses and looks at me obviously trying to come up with the right words.

‘Would you like to come stay on the homeship with Lu and me and two other aliens? I swear, they’re nice guys. And there’s plenty of room.’ She smiles warmly at me. She has grabbed my hand again and gives it an encouraging squeeze.

This is a no-brainer. I never want to go back to that facility in my life. And I can’t trust that Baldie is going to keep his word and let me go free when this is all over. Why should he?

‘Yes, okay,’ I agree.

She lets out an excited squeal then says, ‘Great! I’m so happy! I mean, listen, I love the guys. But they’re aliens. Like alien, aliens. It’ll be so nice to have another human on board!’

‘Okay, well, I’m Gloria.’ I would hold out my hand to shake, but she’s already holding it, so I just squeeze. ‘This is Princess Peach.’

‘Oh, how cute! I’m Mandy by the way.’

‘Excuse me,’ Baldie says from behind me. ‘We are here to speak to—’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ as Mandy interrupts him she’s reaching behind her back.

I tense up for a second, like, does she have a weapon? But no, it’s a device. Like an iPad, but oval-shaped and the screen dips in a little bit. She reaches around me and hands it to Baldie.

‘That’s the schematics. Listen, I was going to get a small planetary defense system, but then I thought about all of the satellites and rockets and SpaceX and everything. And I thought, you know what? We need to go bigger. So I got a multi-planetary defense system! It encompasses the whole Solar System, isn’t that amazing?’ Mandy takes a breath and looks at Baldie expectantly.

‘I, um—’ He looks down at the alien device in his hand, ‘Yes, amazing.’

‘Well, just know that anything you guys send past the Kuiper Belt is going to get dusted. Sorry about that, but you’re not doing anything out there anyway and it’s just the price Earth has to pay for security, you know?’

‘Uh, yeah. Yeah.’

‘And I have a professional overseeing the defense system. His name is Oh’Tech and if he has any issues or, God forbid, there’s an incursion, he’s going to call that tablet. don’t lose it and don’t break it.’

‘Yes. Of course.’

‘Okay.’ Mandy loops an arm through mine and starts leading me to the shuttle. ‘Let’s go.’

‘Wait, just a moment,’ Howard says in her baby-doll voice.

‘Oh, right.’ Baldie straightens his jacket. ‘Howard here would like to accompany Gloria and visit your ship.’

I freeze. This is awful. Howard is going to follow me onto a spaceship? Will I ever be free of this awful woman?

‘Why?’ Mandy asks.

Howard answers, ‘To see Gloria settled and make sure she’s safe—’

‘No, thanks.’ I cut her off.

Mandy looks at the agents who are looking from each other to her and then back. Bald Guy says, ‘Perhaps you should check with the, well, whoever is in charge of your ship?’

‘To ask if they want another human woman?’ Mandy laughs good-naturedly. ‘It’s my ship. So, no thanks. Jeez, you guys thought this was a Mars Needs Women situation?’

I don’t know what she means, but it makes Baldie blush.

She continues leading me up the ramp to the shuttle and says over her shoulder, ‘We’ll call that tablet, alright? And you’ll see that Gloria is really okay and happy.’

‘But—’

‘Sorry! Gotta go!’ she yells as we step inside the shuttle.

The door seals shut.

I didn’t see her push a button or anything. It just closes and then the shuttle is already moving.

I look around for a seat and don’t see any, just this cavernous space.

‘Yeah, there’s no seats. Homeworlder shuttles don’t have any. But don’t worry, it won’t be that rough.’ She pulls me toward the back of the shuttle and places my hand on a bar along the wall. ‘Here, hold this.’

There is some turbulence and I’m white-knuckling the bar as Mandy continues to chat.

‘So that went really well! I thought I was going to have to do some tense negations or deal with some sort of threats or hostage taking or something.’

‘Yeah,’ I answer, my voice a little breathless. ‘It went well.’

‘I told the guys that it had to be me that came and got you because I just felt like the aliens would be more likely to run into trouble, you know? Like they might get violent. The agents, not the aliens. Well, maybe the aliens, too.’

I nod.

‘I think that’s why it went so well. Like, they were expecting some weird, unknown alien to come out of the shuttle, but instead it’s little ole me. It threw off all their plans, I bet.’

I nod again. I’m feeling a little queasy. Might be motion sickness or maybe just stress.

‘So, you wanted to come with me, right? Those government people didn’t pressure you into it?’ she asks.

‘Oh, I wanted to. Otherwise, they would have detained me in their awful facility for the rest of my life.’

‘Oh, no, was it awful?’

I nod. ‘They were keeping me in a kind of solitary confinement. It was driving me nuts.’

‘That’s so wrong.’

She does a kind of side hug thing and I tear up a little bit. It’s nice to talk with someone who isn’t an agent. Someone who has empathy and basic human kindness.

‘So, I bet you were expecting to see Lu?’ she asks.

I nod. ‘They said an extra-terrestrial wanted to meet with me. He’s the only alien I know so—’

‘And you looked pretty excited to see him. Before I walked onto the ramp.’

I blush, but I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. ‘Well, I know this sounds crazy because he’s a terrifying alien. But we had been through a lot of stuff together. He murdered two guys who were trying to kidnap me. And he kept me safe and with him on that spaceship. I guess I have a case of hero worship where he’s concerned.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I really was excited to see him again.’

She laughs and jokes, ‘Well, I must have been a disappointment then.’

I shake my head.

She holds up a palm. ‘Kidding. I’m sure we’ll see him as soon as we dock. The guys are probably waiting right outside the shuttle bay.’

As she’s speaking, I hear a familiar schlepp then click. We’re already docking to the ship.