Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

Tiny will not stop pestering me. She’s bursting with questions about my stay on Earth that I barely understand and do not have answers to. She barely finishes asking one before she is on to the next:

“What was the weather like?”

“Did you watch any tee-vee?”

“Who won the election?”

“Did anyone see you?”

And on and on. At length. I finally accessed the visual files from my implant and projected the video feed onto the wall of a security alcove for her to peruse at her leisure, but even then, she was full of demands.

“Pause here.”

“Fast forward, please.”

“Wait, rewind a sec.”

“Who’s the girl?” she asks, lightly nudging her shoulder into my arm. “This kayaking girl you keep watching?”

“Gloria,” I answer simply. It is unlikely these two women know each other, what with Earth being so populous.

“Glo-ree-ah,” Tiny stretches the name out as though savoring it. “I like it.” She peers closely at the video again. “She’s cute too. And look at that adorable little dog!”

“Princess Peach.”

“Adorable!” She sighs and clasps her hands together in front of her chest. There is a shimmery red cloth wrapped around her shoulders, chest, and hips. It crisscrosses around her body so that she is modestly covered, as humans like to be.

She is engrossed. Looping her arm through mine, she demands, “Fast forward through all of the hunting, eating, and sleeping please.”

I do so with a shrug. I rather thought that the hunting parts were interesting.

She gasps and grips my arm tightly. We have arrived at the part where those criminal males attacked Gloria and tried to steal her away.

“Oh no!” she protests as one of the criminals kicks Princess Peach across the yard.

And then she watches me kill those two human men. Baht was correct in his assessment. It is an unnecessarily messy and dramatic way to murder people. There is blood and brain matter splashed all around.

I glance down at Tiny, and she is staring at me in slack-jawed surprise.

“You killed those guys.”

“Yes.”

Her arm remains looped in mine, but where she was holding me next to her a moment ago now her hand is resting limply on my forearm. What does this mean? Is she disgusted by my actions? I have not come to terms with it myself.

She gasps again. “She thinks you hurt the dog!”

I remain with her for the next hours as she reviews all the footage. Seven, who is apparently Tiny’s breed-mate now, comes to check on her three times. Each time she humors him for a few minutes then shoos him away.

“You know…she looks familiar. I think I know her from somewhere.”

“That is unlikely.”

Nodding, she watches the last hours, fast-forwarding through most of it.

“Why did you make a bikini for her?” she asks, puzzled.

“Humans prefer to be covered,” I remind her. “This is her preferred covering.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Lu, she wore bikinis by the pool and kayaking at a beach house. She was on vacation. I doubt she wanted a bikini to hang out on a Seereechee spaceship.”

“Oh.” That makes sense. My mood plummets even more, to think that Gloria must have been unhappy about the bikini when she woke up. I thought that was something I had done right for her.

She tugs me away from the security alcove and toward the cafeteria.

“Let’s go have some lunch and talk about Gloria.”

I do not know if there is anything to talk about, but it is nice being with Tiny. She’s very chatty, and all the talking fills a void. I have not been myself since my return. Everything feels pointless. I was relieved to be back at first, happy that my whole crew seems to be fine. We are recovered from our arrest and enslavement. I was able to synch my neural implant with the ship’s security feed and learned that my podmates and I had been detained and arrested by bounty hunters. We had been knocked out and then kept in cryo-detention, unaware of any of it. But after Tiny secured our release, Ken and I were intercepted by Seereechee slavers while still in cryo-stasis. That explains that. It also explains why Baht was there. He was in on the plot to free us.

So now Ken, Seven, and I do not need to worry about the laws of Homeworld Two anymore. We have been officially banished, stripped of our rights and property, totally free though.

I was surprised to learn that our ship had been awarded to Tiny in a misguided attempt by the government of Homeworld Two to placate her. Ridiculous. She does not even have the neural implants to pilot a shuttle much less this whole homeship.

“So,” she draws my attention as we bring our noodles to a table. “This girl is special?”

“Yes.”

“And you wanted to keep her? That’s what you told Baht.”

I dip my chin in affirmation.

“Then why didn’t you invite her to come here with you?” She chews a bite of noodles waiting for my answer. She had Ken fabricate a stick with claws on the end to compensate for her woeful lack of talons. Humans have flimsy, delicate claws that are not good for much other than decoration.

“Lu?”

“I did not have a chance. I left her unconscious in a private room while I searched for her animal companion. She would have been distressed to find her gone. I caught her scent near the shuttle bay and when I tracked it, I found Gloria and the animal had somehow both found their way to the shuttle and were headed directly back to the surface,” I explain. I thought this was clear in the video record.

“You could have stopped that shuttle. She had a translation device so you could have just asked her.” Tiny is waving one clawless hand around, getting herself worked up over this. I know why I wanted Gloria to stay with me, but I do not know why Tiny feels so strongly about it. Perhaps she is lonely for other humans? That could be why she’s disappointed that I didn’t bring this one back to the Homeship.

When I do not respond, she chews her noodles for a moment and then asks, “Why were those guys trying to kidnap her?”

“I do not know.”

She sets her fork down.

“Lu, we don’t know if she’s safe, then.”

This is a distressing thought.

She goes on, “And even if she’s safe from kidnappers, what about the government? Do they know those women were abducted by aliens?”

“Earth does not have a government.”

“We have lots of governments! And most of those governments have secret agencies that specialize in detaining people and getting information out of them.”

Another distressing thought.

I shrug all of my tentacles to shake off these disturbing ideas that Tiny seems to be engendering in me on purpose. I had been working to be at peace with Gloria’s decision to return to Earth. To respect her choice and not behave as some pirate, stealing her away and forcing her to stay with me against her will. But if she is being mistreated and it is for her own good that I track her down and abduct her away from Earth? That would be honorable would it not? She would be thankful for it.

“Tiny, Gloria knows as much about your Earth governments as you do. If she wanted to return to Earth, then…”

“But you didn’t give her any other option!”

Breathing a deep, calming breath, I focus on changing my color from a distressed blackest-gray to a lighter hue.

With infinite patience, I ask, “What would you have me do?”

“We should go get her.”

I shake my head in negation. “No, we are not Seereechee slavers to just go and abduct whatever human we like.”

“You’re right it wouldn’t be right to just steal her away.”

Glad to be in agreement, I dip my chin.

But then she adds, “We’ll track her down and invite her aboard.”