Blood and Ruin (Blood and Ruin Series Book 1)

“Why isn’t she healing?” a gruff voice asks, his tone unconcerned.

I push against the barrier holding me prisoner, wanting to open my eyelids and see who it is.

My body feels heavy and exhausted, like it’s a weight being dragged under water.

Opening my eyes, I find myself on the floor of King’s room once again.

“She’s awake.” The gruff voice is one of King’s goons, Tyler or Tim. I couldn’t remember, my brain still too fuzzy to think past King’s last session.

Both men glare down at me, irritated I haven’t started moving yet. Not even a glint of compassion or empathy in their expressions.

Not that I expected it.

King was stronger. Those black cords were something I hadn’t seen before. I needed to hurry with my plan. If he was getting stronger, that couldn’t mean anything good.

With this new blocker, he must have something planned. I needed to get out of here, and soon. I was too close to the finish line to let King win.

My energy barely there, I attempt to get up, failing miserably before lying back down, closing my eyes for a moment.

“Hurry the fuck up. I want to get out of here and can’t leave until your sorry ass gets out.”

I jolt awake, forgetting about the two dicks in the room. The other guard chuckles, seeing my wide eyes.

Hiding my glare, I work on getting my body to work faster.

Damn, that blocker was much stronger. My wounds are still not fully healed, even now. My skin wore a layer of thick dry blood, my hair matted and clothes dirty. It had to be at least a couple of days since King was here.

After a few more failed attempts, I finally make it up, my legs shaking, my vision spotty. I waver before catching myself, neither of the goons jumping in to help.

“Fucking finally,” one of them mutters.

I take a minute to balance myself, the shooting pain splintering through every nerve at any slight movement.

Hearing a growl, I focus on getting moving and away from the two heartless dicks. I push past the pain and use my muscle memory to get out of here.

Outside of the room, the other guards ignore my stumbling, broken body to laugh at some joke.

Slowly shuffling down the hall, I only make it so far before I have to take a quick break. Leaning against the wall, I take a few breaths before starting again toward one of the staff bathrooms. The blood and grime on my clothes and body was too thick to just throw on new ones.

I couldn’t afford another session like today. It feels like King takes another piece of me each time. How many did I have left before he takes them all?

Ignoring how hollow I feel, I make quick work of cleaning off all the blood, leaning over the sink to wash out the matted blood from my hair.

After what feels like hours, I get rid of most of the blood, looking half presentable.

My body aching in protest, I look into the mirror finding an ashen face, as the pain leaks through my appearance. I lean against the sink, waiting for the swift blaze slashing my back to ease.

After a moment, I push through it knowing I need to get back to my suite before anyone sees me, my vulnerable state a beacon to their depraved nature.

Heading back out into the hall, I find a vent with my hidden supplies and change as quick as I can. Moving down the hall, I keep my head down but an eye out for anyone wandering about.

I grit my teeth against a swift slice of pain that makes me pause.

Just a little further.

Pushing forward, I turn the corner when I glance up, cursing my luck.

Axel spots me, his eyes narrowing as he picks up speed, heading towards me like a man on a mission. His frustration and anger aimed straight at me.

“Where have you been? We’ve—” He stops himself.

“The others, have been going crazy, looking for you.”

Moving too fast, a sharp pain shoots up my back. I cover a wince, looking down.

“Answer me!” Axel moves closer, his hands clenched at his side.

“I’m not in the mood.” Slowly taking a deep breath, I release it. I need to get back to my suite. Anywhere that’s not in the open like this. Thanks to King’s upgraded concoction, I wouldn’t be healing for at least another few hours.

Axel’s chuckle is vicious. “You’re not in the mood? Are you fucking kidding me? No one has seen or heard from you in three days. Not one person in this god damn hotel knows where you’ve been, and you just show up. Not. In. The. Fucking. Mood.” Irritation bleeds from his eyes.

“Do you even care about anyone but yourself?” He shakes his head, cutting me off.

“Fuck, don’t answer that, the answer is fucking crystal clear.”

I ignore the fury in his eyes and his brutal digs, the pain too intense to conjure up the energy to go another round with him.

I needed food and a shit ton of sleep and not to deal with a dick who hasn’t a clue of what he’s talking about. I go to move past him when he grabs my injured arm, making me gasp. He drops it like it’s on fire.

“What the fuck?”

I wince, pulling away, trying to breathe through the stabbing sensation slicing up into my shoulder.

His eyes are wide as he moves into me, his smoky scent warming something in my chest.

“What’s wrong?”

I swallow hard, avoiding any further eye contact. Feeling too vulnerable, too raw.

“Nothing,” I grit out.

“You’re lying. Tell me what happened?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you of all people care.”

Axel’s comforting scent settles over me as he moves closer. “Damn it, Kiarra. Stop being so damn stubborn and tell me what the hell happened.”

“I… I’m fine.”

“You and I both know that’s a fucking lie.”

I don’t get a chance to reply before he’s gone, disappearing down the hall like he was never there.

I was getting whiplash from his mood swings.

Hobbling the rest of the way to my suite, I close the door. Leaning the back of my head against it, I try to catch my breath. My stomach grumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten anything in a while. I shuffle to the kitchen but stop, remembering I never got any food, the extra money saved was given to the fox.

Starving would not kill me, I learned that as soon as I was brought here. I could go days, sometimes weeks without eating. The hunger pains though never seem to abate.

Ignoring the pangs in my stomach, I limp over to the chair and ease myself into it. Hollow on the inside, I curl into a ball, waiting for sleep to call me.

Just as the pain starts to ease, a loud knock makes me jolt up. A shooting pain slices up my back as I move too quick.

Fuck.

“Kiarra?” I frown hearing Luka’s voice.

“Kiarra? I know you’re in there. Open up.”

No. Not happening. I was not in the mood for any of them at the moment. Too tired to deal with their shit.

I stay silent, hoping he’ll just leave. As if he can hear my thoughts, he answers.

“Please, Kiarra…” A soft thump comes from the door, making me squeeze my eyes shut against the pang of guilt hitting me in the chest.

Gritting through the pain, I push myself up and limp over to the door. Taking a long, deep breath, I ignore the pain and unlock the door.

Luka’s smile drops once he sees me. “What the hell?”

“What?” I ask, too exhausted to decipher his baffled look.

“He was right,” he murmurs to himself with a frown as he makes his way inside.

“No, please come in,” I mumble, closing the door behind him.

Luka turns to me, blocking me from reaching the sofa. Exhaling a sigh, I glance at the floor, wondering if it’s as comfortable as it looks right now.

“What’s going on? Where have you been? And why do you look like you haven’t slept in days? Like you’re sick or something.” He moves closer.

Reaching out, he brushes a hand along the side of my face, tilting my head to him.

“Talk to me.”

I shake my head, swallowing hard at the worried look on his face.

“I’m fine.”

Luka gives me a look, one that reminds me how much he always sees more than he should.

As a child, I could never keep a secret from him. His quiet temperament, a cloak to his own hidden darkness, always pulled me in, making me want to spill all my secrets. With just the two of us, our hidden words disappeared into the dark just as his warmth embraced us like a blanket.

But we were no longer kids, the years spent apart had formed a distance between us.

“It’s…” I try to think of something and say the first thing that pops to mind.

“It was just a tough gym session. I think I overdid it.”

His eyes narrow on me like he knows I’m full of shit but says nothing. I continue on, avoiding his gaze, hoping he’ll let it go.

“Yeah, so I’m just going to head to bed. See yourself out.” I start to move around him and toward my bedroom when he stops me.

“Wait. Where are you sore?”

Everywhere, but why does it matter? I frown, wondering where he’s going with this.

“My lower back, mostly.” Not exactly a lie. King fucked it up pretty bad and his new blocker has made healing it a bitch.

“Here. Lie down.” He grabs a couple of cushions, placing them on the sofa.

“What are you—”

Coming over, he gently ushers me to his makeshift bed.

“Luka—”

“Trust me?” he asks, his soft eyes hopeful.

My tense shoulders drop, giving him a slight nod. My body is too depleted to put up a fight.

I ease myself onto the sofa. Lying down I turn to face the back of the chair and away from Luka’s intense gaze.

A moment passes before a blanket is pulled over me and a warm presence settles in behind me.

“What are you—”

Warmth spreads into my back, easing the tense muscles and sharp pain.

Luka’s powers. He was using his heat to help ease the pain.

“Trust me?” he whispers.

My throat feels tight as I try and fail to swallow the lump forming.

“How’s that?” he asks, a hint of hope in his voice.

I clear my throat a couple of times before attempting to speak, my voice raspy.

“Good.”

Luka’s body relaxes into the sofa behind me. His thumb draws small circles on my hip, the warmth from his powers and touch, seeping into every inch of me.

“Do you remember when we were kids, and you decided you were going to climb that rotted tree house?”

I smile remembering the old treehouse that was down the road from Axel’s house. Its dark wooden structure was rotted and hanging on by a few rusty nails.

The guys were always playing around daring one another to climb and jump off it. I always wanted to prove I could be just as brave and daring as them.

One day, I decided I was going to do it. I remember making it to the top, and seeing the small, dilapidated shack inside full of dust and cobwebs. The elated feeling spread across my face when I realised, I had done it.

I couldn’t jump back down, not like them and their shifter abilities. So, I turned around and slowly climbed down. But my foot got caught on one of the old steps nailed into the thick tree and broke.

“I couldn’t get to you in time. Not before you…”

“Fell?”

He shudders as if remembering the moment. “You fell, and my whole world stopped. I thought you were dead. I thought I was going to find your broken body lying on that forest floor, that I lost my best friend and soulmate.” His voice is thick with sadness and despair.

Forgetting about my pain, I turn to comfort him, but his warm hand stops me.

“Luka…” His body leans in closer to mine. My breath speeds up as his arms come around me, pulling me into every hard angle of his body.

A delicious heat unfurls inside me as he places his hand on my stomach. A warmth that is all Luka flows from his palm spreading across and down my stomach. It blends with another heat, making me shiver.

I feel a smile on his lips as he moves closer to my ear.

“But you just got up. A big smile on your face and not a scratch on you.” His chuckle is hollow.

I remember falling, the swift panic I’d felt as I headed toward the ground. A sharp pain rippled through my body but seconds later it was gone, making me think I had imagined it.

Luka’s heat moves along with his hand as he slides it over my hip and down my thigh. He begins a long torturous stroke, the heat from his hand building on the deep pleasure expanding inside me.

“I remember thinking if you had… left us, I would have followed you.” His hand stops, the warmth leaving it as a spear of cold slices through me. The thought of Luka not being in this world, ripped every warmth, every shard of happiness and hope I had apart, and turned them to ash. They whipped away in the harsh breeze, carrying a piece of my heart with them.

“Luka…”

His hand flexes before it moves again. Pulling me further into his body, he curls up behind me, his hand fisting as he holds me tight.

I feel a slight tremble in his body as he leans in to place a soft kiss on my shoulder.

But the heat that was once there was now overshadowed by Luka’s admission, leaving behind a deep-seated cold that could no longer be filled.

“After you… left, we went searching for you.”

My stomach drops. I swallow hard, blinking back the burn threatening to spill. Of course, they searched for me, I would have done the same for them.

“Five determined teenagers out scouring the town and surrounding cities, but you just disappeared. We spent days and weeks that turned into months before we… before we realised you weren’t coming back.”

The agony in his tone chokes me as his grip tightens.

“We thought you were dead.”

They thought I was… How could they?

I didn’t think… I squeeze my eyes tighter feeling the tears run down my face. Those five little words destroy me.

I feel disgusted with myself for not thinking what my leaving would do. Knowing they would miss me… But this, having them think I was not only gone but permanently, made me want to succumb to that dark place inside me, the guilt too much to bear.

“It devastated us all, slowly ripping us apart.”

What?

“But you’re all so close?” I can see it in the way they look out for one another. The way they stick together and move as one. Just like before, Kai leans on Rion for his opinion on things of importance. Luka and Jax always stick up for one another, no matter what, and have that bond only twins seem to have. And Axel… Axel was still stubborn and hot tempered, but they always listened to him. They’re constantly watching out for him, and always have his back.

“That took us a while to get back to. You were everything to us, the centre of our whole world, and you were gone. Taking the heart out of our little group destroyed us. We couldn’t go back to what we were and had to figure out a new way to exist.” Hearing the deep anguish in his voice breaks something inside me. The guilt tightens around my chest, trying to suffocate me.

As if Luka can once again hear the remorse in my thoughts, he dips his head brushing soft kisses along my shoulder before brushing his cheek against mine.

A sliver of warmth enters my hollow chest as he embraces me.

“You’re loved, Kiarra. More than you know. Whatever is going on with you, whatever it is you feel you can’t tell us… Just know that I’m here… We all are, and we’re not going anywhere.”

How could he still care after everything he just told me? They still think I just left them. That I didn’t care, instead choosing a life full of extravagance.

The truth was I cared too much. I couldn’t let them in, not fully. Not with me still in King’s grip, his threat hanging over me like a ticking bomb. Making me want to push Luka away. To tell him to leave with the others and get as far away from here as possible.

I couldn’t lose them, not like that. They needed to live a full life and I would never be able to give that to them. My own too dark, too tainted to share.

I stifle the emotion trying to suffocate me but must not do a good job of it as Luka’s grip tightens once more.

“Don’t let the darkness win. Push it back and fight. I’ll be right there with you. Always.”

His promise both terrifies and elates me. Knowing he means every word but also seeing the danger it will bring with it, should he follow through. King will always be the poison that ruins anything good for me.

Luka leans over me, his warm breath sending tingles across my neck.

“Get some sleep, I’ll stay for a bit.” He kisses my head before lying back down behind me.

I squeeze my eyes tight, begging sleep to call me.

Sensing my irritation, Luka’s hands warm up, easing my overtired muscles and mind. After a few minutes, my eyes slowly drift shut as Luka’s calming scent full of hints of chaos and night envelops me in a warm embrace.